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songs i still cannot believe were on the radio growing up

(in no particular order)

it’s pretty obvious now that we’re well past the golden age of radio. am i nostalgic for it? not really. my allegiance rests somewhere between my love for my physical media collection (cds/records/cassettes) and how grateful i am that i can stream literally any music i want from the various glowing electronic boxes that live in my house. as a kid, i was naturally pretty ensconced in pop culture, and there was a period of at least 3-4 years where i vibed with just about everything that played on top 40’s radio. all of that to say, some of the songs we popularized as a culture were just fucking bonkers. the worst part is that many of us were too naive to understand what these extremely catchy songs were about, and we were constantly singing them out loud with absolutely NO shame. most of the songs on this list fall under that category, but there’s a few on here that i just think are fucking stupid. please enjoy.

12
angel - sarah mclachlan

(also known as 'in the arms of an angel') ah yes the iconic ASPCA dead puppy commercial song. these puppies are dead and it’s all your fault you heartless fuck. just what i needed during the 6 hour drive to six flags. maybe if we’re lucky when the song is over we’ll crash into a guardrail and die on impact

11
how to save a life - the fray

where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness???? oh man what a massively depressing song. don't get me wrong here it's beautiful and incredibly heartfelt. but also it’s like i just got out of school fresh out of bible class where they told me i would go to hell for being gay and then i hear this. awesome

10
hanging tree (rebel remix)

during a time where itunes and spotify were taking over the Radio Industrial Complex, teen interest was waning in top 40s radio and it got to a point where they would play ANYTHING that hinted of virality. i am still in disbelief about this. i was the biggest hunger games fan at the time and even i thought this was bullshit

9
i kissed a girl - katy perry

i was originally going to make a joke about this song being the worst bi representation ever but like. katy perry isn't even bisexual. so what are we even DOING here. honestly the main reason this song is on this list is due to the sheer amount of disgust, homophobia, and pearl-clutching it inspired in my local community at the time. i mean this woman isn't even claiming to be gay in the lyrics. she's just like yeah, i tried it and thought it was chill. but by the reaction it got from my parents/teachers/peers/etc you would have thought katy perry was involved in some kind of mephistophelian lesbian sex cult. can you imagine how supernaturally fast my mother's hands moved to the radio dial when this song came on??

8
beautiful girls - sean kingston

ok funny story. this song played constantly when i was a kid and i guess i’d never really heard the word ‘suicidal’ before. i didn’t really know what he was saying but i remember hearing ‘super sydo’. whatever the hell that means.

7
lovegame - lady gaga

one of the many lady gaga songs that was in HEAVY circulation at the time. it seemed like nobody in the south actually thought about her lyrics for more than two seconds. i was so innocent back then i guess i assumed a ‘disco stick’ was some cool party contraption i didn’t know about

6
my humps - black eyed peas

i mean...yeah. this one is kinda self explanatory. add this one to the subcategory of 'songs that were really obviously not meant for children but received constant airtime regardless'. this is the kinda song you hear your baby cousin singing and you laugh at them because they have no idea what they're saying

5
blurred lines - robin thicke

oh man i remember this one - specifically the video - being subject to massive controversy at the time. and yet it still played on the radio CONSTANTLY. i think the really fascinating thing about this song to me is how it sounds exactly like something from an AT&T commercial - probably why it seemed so harmless on a surface level. but yeah this song is scummy as hell. do not like

4
don't trust me - 3oh!3

literally what was going on here. yes we all know that iconic line “your boyfriend says he’s got beef but i’m a vegetarian and i aint fuckin scared of him” wonderful awesome we all love it. but that bridge????? who tf approved this. why bring helen keller into this?? 2008 was a weird time

3
whistle - flo rida

listen i do not advocate for censorship. but you have to admit it’s pretty crazy to tune into a top 40s family friendly radio station and immediately hear this shit. picture this: you are 11 years old. you just got out of the church service and you’re on your way to an overcrowded cracker barrel with your family. your mom turns on the radio and the first words you hear are detailing an extremely obvious blowjob metaphor. your mom does not change the station. why isnt she changing the station?? well its obvious. she doesnt listen to the lyrics and thinks the whistle part is catchy. you catch her whistling the same tune later that night while she’s cooking dinner

2
s&m - rihanna

we as a nation were not ready for this song. that’s all.
(i could not for the life of me tell you what i thought was being implied by 'chains and whips' when i was a kid)

1
pumped up kicks - foster the people

if any one song represents this entire list it's this - i think it's just the fact that this was on the RADIO to begin with. we were all chilling and singing along and thought nothing of it. i'm not a puritan by any means but it's still crazy to me how a song with this kind of subject matter became a mainstream hit. funnily enough i remember being in middle school and my teacher passing out copies of the lyrics of this song to the whole class...we went through the whole song together and talked about the meaning of each line. to this day i haven't figured out what the meaning of that exercise was supposed to be. media literacy, i guess?