writing fragments

i’m talking slow to make it last

i'm still a kid beneath the flesh
mourning his old burning bed
tuck me in and end it all
or birth a new beginning

you looked at me through the ice cold waist high water / dressed in the light like a house on fire

moments before disaster / i was contemplating blue

i lost my chance at a seamless vision
can you tell me what to do with a fucked up head
if i cant make one single decision
can you tell me what to do with my hands instead

does the road rise up to meet you
does the sun cradle your head
does the flower wrap around your wound
bloom in the path you've tread

does the world flow past you like a river
does trouble catch in all your coils
i know this summer i will find you
playing in the creek with the boys

inside i’m mining for meaning / divining the feeling

heavy is the back that bears that silver shadow

nobody knows me
nobody knows me like i do
i'm just a body
just a spirit passing through
take what you need from me
i've got nothing to prove to you

rivers in shadow
bodies float in vivid blue
i'm taking a season
i tried to make my fate too soon
spend some time in the waiting
consider alternative views

when i was a kid
with whole worlds in my head
nothing could touch me
i could do anything

take care my brother, lover of the sun
the work is unending but it can be done
the battle's not pretty but it can be won

stare into the distance
dream up a new vision
a life filled with purpose
promise and precision
dancing in the morning
never getting bored and
feel like i could make something beautiful out of this

i'm better than the present
self that never gets it
never hits the marks
and never ends up winning
i just want to feel the glory
just a little, for a second
then to end up feeling hollow
taste of honey, better than nothing

i don't wanna think about it
take a pill and kick it out the door
if i fail to face the facts then i won't have to fake it anymore

are you still living well / eating from the marrow?

midnight closes in and i'm alone again

angel in the snakepit

living slow in the middle of disaster
tripping softly then falling faster
make thy bed then covet thy master
death is our savior life is a bastard

blinking out the blood in my vision
see no evil my insightful incisions
divine eye seeing with holy precision
deny my neighbor thy precious provisions

henry growing hair on their chin
henry lets the dogs back in
henry likes my brain and i like them
henry is a teacher and i'm a kid

rhododendron
bloomin, it's your favorite
like the old star
and your favorite blanket

as we all know i was brought to this planet without my consent
now i'm doomed to roam the earth for the remainder of this mortal body's life
cleaning its room, folding its clothes, taking it out for walks
acts of servitude i don't remember agreeing to
and while i walk and i walk and i walk
thru dying neighborhood green into brown, brown into gray
smog filling in the gaps between the houses
i try, i struggle i mean but i try, to find the beauty in the horror of dying things
i think i can convince myself that the washed up acid-rotten fish skeleton on the beach is some kind of poetry or maybe a riddle i have to answer
and that dying things are still beautiful because the story doesn't work without them
or maybe it does,
maybe we weren't meant to hurt at all
but i've always thought perfect easy pleasure was kind of boring
and nowhere to be found in a satisfying story

every summer i forget the winter
every winter i forget the sun
i am satisfied with feeding this delusion
i am satisfied with fooling everyone

i died a long time ago
now i'm just hanging out and taking it slow
choking on a mouth of dark water
the second that i find myself alone
there's dust on my altar
there's a picture of my best friend in my phone
i wake up and i wonder
where did the future go?

so i crawl to the north star / a childhood scar / tear back the flesh and eat the heart

defiling the violets

i couldn’t sleep / couldn’t go home / stayed out driving / all night long

leaving the lights on / to prophesy the morning

not checking my email
not checking my phone
there’s nothing else to do now
there’s nothing new to know

after last night
hanging at your place
i wanna change
everything
i wanna cry i wanna dance
i wanna be a better man
i wanna scream i wanna feel
i wanna get harder to kill

i could cut my clothes and
sell my car
make a vision out of stars
break a sweat out in the yard
you make me want to work this hard